Do not doubt yourself as a mother
First things first, yes you are not perfect but does that make you any less of a mother? Can there be any other person in the whole wide world who can love your child more than you do? Also if you wouldn’t be a concerned mother, would you be reading this article trying to clear your doubt? Parenting can be challenging but just know that you are doing your best and that is all that you can do from your end.
Do not blame it on you, there’s so much that we want to do for our kids that we often doubt if we are going in the right direction. Once this doubt enters your brain, you tend to overthink the whole idea of you raising your child. Well, if that makes you feel any better, let me tell you, all the mother do this.
What is Self Doubt?
Self-doubt arises from expectations and over thinking. Consider this scenario; you take your kid out to play in a park. There are several other kids with their mums. Sometime later, your kid starts getting cranky and whining about going back home. All your efforts to calm your child go in vain and the whining doesn’t stop. Suddenly you see other children playing happily and there mothers staring at you like you have done something wrong! The first thought in your mind will definitely be, “I am not a good mother”.
Many such instances like, if your child doesn’t behave well in front of the guests, if his grades are not good, if he is not eating well and I can go on and on. All these things trigger your self-doubt like a bullet. You start blaming your job or your career choices for the same. Your brain is constantly thinking if you have really failed as a mother.
The after effects of such thoughts are nothing but a cribbing you! You will shout at your kids for not behaving well, your husband will get his share of fury for not helping you and your own peace of mind is out of the window to some far far world.
I know more than 90% of the mothers will relate to all that I have just said. So accept it and let’s find out a solution for this.
How to deal with Self Doubt?
Ask yourself, one incident in all these years and your confidence is out in the bin? Your child is growing and it’s obvious that his behaviors will change everyday, does that mean you taught him to crib about things?? Aren’t you just making a mountain of a molehill? You never taught your kid to answer back, did you? So if he did, how are you a bad parent? You will be a bad parent if you don’t stop him from doing that next time!
There’s a lot involved in this self-doubt situation. Let’s find out the ways to come out of it victorious!
Find the reason
Go find the bottom line. Go deep into the incident that made you feel so. Not deep into criticizing yourself but into finding a reason for it. Find the reason for your child’s rude behavior. Maybe the kid wanted to go back home from the park because he is hungry. Maybe it’s his supper time or nap time. Another reason can be some other kid in the park might be making him feel unhappy. (Kids are like that you know). Find the reason and work on it.
Choose how you are going to react
If you are reading this, you are clearly a parent who read a lot of articles on parenting. How many times you have read that your kid is your reflection (talking of the behaviors). If you chose to yell at them, vent at them, be ready because this is what you will see them doing as well. Shouting at a child will either make him rude or emotionally weak. Choose a better way. Sit with your child and discuss why the behavior.
Understand the Process
Just like your child, you are also growing as a parent. If he is allowed to make mistakes, so are you! You haven’t learned to be a mom in your college or school. Just like your child, you will learn in the process. Allow the learning to happen and accept the mistakes like an adult.
Bottom Line: Whenever these doubts come to your mind, allow yourself two minutes of silence and sort your head. Turn your doubts into lessons. Don’t lose confidence, you and your child are doing just awesome!
We would love to hear your mommy stories as well. Share them in the comment section below… Happy Parenting!